this is a sweet thing this as we lay.

love me now or i'll go crazy

the sand in the hour glass in running out, it looks like its going through the glass table of our fingers,our hands fitting together like a gloves soaked in blood, too tight cutting off the flow to the rest. the more the sand runs freely to the floor, we get into fights, barely talk, and have conversations strictly about the love between the sheets.

serious conversations become a joke, the moon turns in the sun, and the snow turns into water..





but neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye.

back by..

popular demand.

Dear Friend,

every time i escape the jungle, the lions grab me by the neck and drag me back in.
the pain the surges through my body, is numbed by the idea that i can erase the pass and start over with you. you were there for me when i needed you, then when i needed you most you slipped through my fingers like a black balloon.

you hated what i was, the person you couldn't, you strike me where it hurt and returned for me when i was down, kicking me in the gut.. knocking the air of me and had me gasping for last breathe. then wisped away from a different wind and left you behind in the pit of our last fight.

you come back in a different form, hurt, grieving.. your heart torn out. you lose the one thing we talked about as child, and now you realize that we had an bond that we once thought was unbreakable.. now we look back and realize that was unrealistic. the children we were hadn't lives life, gone through the strain of love, heartache and loss, now we come back to meet once again, almost as stranger unsure where we stand with each other.

you were like a sister that i never had and i lose that sister, it feels like years and the truth it was only months ago. we slept in the same bed, read each others minds without speaking, spent everyday together.. and it all come to a crashing end because you had changed because of your reasons, and i did the same. our new lives didn't workout together, they were opposites and we couldn't understand why we had grown apart.

i wish we could go back in time and change the past but if we did that we wouldn't be the woman we are today. yes, in months i became a woman from a naive child. the months that passed were hard and stressful, but clearly not as much as yours.

we spoke today, and at first i was angry and didn't know what to say to you without scream at the top of my lungs. then realized that shouts or swears wouldn't do us any good. the sun wouldn't come out the same way if we did that, and you made me cry because i missed the old life i had when i was a child and your were there for me. the tears are a mesh of pain and happiness, the pain came from knowing that we will never be the start and we wouldn't be able to start from scratch because of the mistakes we made, the happiness came from knowing that we were going to be okay, move on with our lives and make the best of them and be successful.

as the tears stream down my face and wet my shirt is just a way of cleansing my body of all the past shit and welcoming the healing and success that will come my way, God willing, we will make it through this.

i will always have a space in my heart for you, and i hope you will have the same.

Yours Truly,
India Antoine.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/annabellelichte

vow of celibacy..

should it be my body rebelling against what the world wants or a choice i make to better and cleanse myself.

i want to take a vow of celibacy, to correct what i have down wrong in life.
to better myself, i guess cleanse my body.. to make relationships less about attraction and more and meaning.

the boy tells the girl he loves her and whats to be with her, in exchange she gives him her body, sacrifices her morals and beliefs for the sake of love.

"all boys want is to get in your pants, they will say anything to do so" - my mother..
was she telling me a fact of life or making sure that her daughter doesn't have sex.

i would hate to say that all boys are the same and that all they want is sex but it is the truth, at least from the boys i have encountered. they wine and dine you, then try to lay it on you. you stall and protest but yet you give with the sweet words that come from his mouth. you feel ashamed and saddened but the crushing defeat, the pain of knowing how the outcome will be.

it might be crazy to take a vow of such sorts at this age, but i feel it is necessary to my lively hood. to triumph from the bad and darkness that surrounds me in the world.

sex is not bad, but the action is not a clean thing. it is dirty and dark.
not the sex you have with someone you love, but the sex you have with the boy you met at the club, or the boy you go to school that looked good at the party. (i have not done these things) you get caught in the lies and the misleading trust of the hopeful longing in your eyes.

"just because i don't believe in relationship doesn't mean that i'm easy" - myself

celibacy isn't a choice because you want to make people talk, it is for yourself and no one else.. you can't pick it up like a top and drop and the second your notice a stain.. you take it home wash it and continue with your day.

i have been celibate for two months now, and this is the first time i am talking about it.

until i find someone or something that is worth me quitting my vow will stay strong in my heart and mind.. i wear a ring to show my commitment.

“it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”

“this is my weapon, this is my inner sense of fame. This is my monster."

formspring.me

is it true you suck dick and swallow?

thats a different one.
no i don't, sorry boys.. shame that i don't though no :P
maybe in a next life i will.. not in this one though.
not my style !

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/annabellelichte

...would you mind ?

the object of your affection whether innocent or intentional.
the tension between us is thick, akwkard at times.
funny at times the way we act with each other, playful like two children in a playground, but serious like lovers.

i don't know if to hug you or kiss you.
the hug is everlasting, time slows and the moment is saviored between us.
holding on tight as if you will lose them once you let go.
the split seconds after the hug is done, the looks begin, to make sure that mutual friends don't realize the connection that occured infront of them.

the random looks, eyes connecting everytime, getting cold chills down our spines.
shaking it off, even though the feeling is intoxicating. a smirk comes across our faces realizing the game that only the two of us know about, tag with our eyes and minds playing without words or a touch to expressed it.

we become paired of with every chance our friends give us. its subconciously walking in twos, chatting catching up as if this is how its always been meant to be. in our heads contemplating is this is meaningless conversation or going to lead to anything more. if we'll be able to show each other the ropes.

knowing that once the night is over this meeting won't happen for weeks to come. we won't plan anything, scared of what might be. memories will last and we'll hope that we don't care a bad romance.
missing each other more and more knowing that we can't have each other once the night is done.


knowing in my head that i want to do is kiss you, taste you, watch you, feel you.