till my baby comes home.

the vibrating on my pillow, startles me, causes me to hold my breathe.
leasing my breathe once i answer, its just my boy, the one i call baby.
i stay up for his call, until i can't wait anymore, the waiting is like a needle repeatedly gabbing me in my hand, i want to shake it off but it doesn't go away.
the call is like a cup of warm milk for a antsy child, the present on christmas day, i can't wait to open it but i know its not going anywhere and the give won't change anytime.
we talk on the phone until our eyes close on us, trying to stay up longer than the next, just the feeling of sleeping on the phone with you is enough ease me into a dreamland of bliss happiness.
the sound of your voice, groggy and horse puts me to sleep as if your next to me, the sweet nothing you whisper into my ears through the speaks send shivers down my spine.
it is as if i am next to you in your arms, having you rock me to bed like a loving mother her newborn.

all i can do is wait till you come home back to me baby.

drunk life, trying to forget about how much i like you.

feeling again.

having you there laying in my arms, head on your chest..
not talking just there on the bed, you stroking my arm as you squeeze me tightly.
the feeling i your finger against my forehead moving the misplaced hairs out of my face. with every s unforgetable, my body doesn't know what to do, how to breathe, to turn closer or pull away.
the sensation ofslight turn i make you glance at me to make sure i am alright, when our eyes catch its as if time slows down completely, i don't want to turn away but i don't want to draw attention to us having a connection surrounded by friends.
somehow it feels like we've had something going on since the day we met, ended up always in a pair.
the truth is i don't know what it is, theres something different about me, that pulls me towards you.. it could be that you are everything that i wanted in a boy but grew up, learned different and found you.
the truth of the matter is i have a crush on you, and i'm too scaried to tell you whats on my mind, the most important part is that your innocent heart makes me want to be a better person just for you.

this feeling is something i've felt before and i love this feeling again.

boxes wrapped up underneath the christmas tree.

every year around this time, i get a little sad.
if you know me well, its not hard to figure out why but i've grown and learned to forgive and forget about the things that hurt me in the past.
so i decide to reflect on the achievements and the things i'm most proud of.
i thought of one conversation i had with my friend, and i decided that the one thing i wanted for christmas wasn't you but just to be happy.
causing my new years resolution to go on dates and to date.
not to get wrapped up in relationships unless i liked the person, and not to jump into it with both feet but to tip toe around it and make sure it's the right thing for me.


yes, i'm the first to tell you, i'm a flirt and a tease.
its not my fault, its in my nature, and i noticed that i had a crush on you not for you but for the person you are, the person that i wished every boy i was with before was. your the perfect guy but i don't know what it is with you but you make me forget who i am and want to be with you just to breath the same air as you.
i don't know if its you or the person you are, we hang out in a group of friends..
we constantly look at each other, i constantly want to be in your arms after that night i laid there for hours, it was blissful, amazing, and surprising, i've never wanted to just be near to someone like i want to be with you.
what do you have over me ?
and can i have it back ?
i don't know if i can continue to be in love with you from a far..

isn't that a bitch.

honestly right now I'm pissed and I might regret this tomorrow but I'm FUCKING pissed, I try to be the best friend I can to you guys, while you shit all over me, I'm crying right now in the taxi and feel like shit ! this hurts more than anything but I might have to stop talking to you for a while ! honestly I love you two but this is too much for my life and this might be because of the liquor but it fucking hurts and love you two too much to lose you.. that's why I'm sending this text instead of telling you both this !

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

should i model for you,
should i take off my clothes,
snag come professional pictures,

will that grab your attention ?

say something baby.

imagine.

they sit down after there nice date, the cold weather forces then to attempt to warm up, the chat takes a sudden turn.
the guilt of having such a nice day hits, she can't bare it anymore, she has to tell him that he's not the only one that she's talking to.
not to push him away, but to make him understand why she had her guard up.
the boy is amazed, shocked, and disappointed, he can't believe that the girl he likes so much could hide this from him for so long.

the girl panics and expresses her feelings for him and how she didn't know she felt this way until today, how could she know if they didn't hang out and if he "likes" another girl.
telling her that he doesn't even like the other girl and he made the effort to see her and hang out but she blew him off for her friends thats she basically lives with. with all this being said the boy abruptly gets up and leaves the girl sitting there in dismay.
she doesn't know what to do or say, to cry or scream, chase or call.. so many things go through her mind, not a thing to say to him for the fear of making it worse for herself. the only one that makes sense is that she fucked it all up.


she finally leaves, looking around out of embarrassment.
confused and disrot, calls her girlfriends, she meets them and they talk.
without leaving out a single detail it looks like tears are coming to her eyes, not because of the boy but the pain she might have caused.

she fucked up this one and there's no clear solution in sight.

laying on the bed not knowing what's going to come off next, yours or mine.
looking back at the time and sound of my glass against my teeth and your zipper being pulled down.


one condom or two,
how many rounds can we go through.