TIFF '10

Sept. 12, 2010 I had the privalege to go to the premiere of a film called Vanishing On 7th Street, this film was played at Ryerson University for TIFF. It's an amazing and scary film starring Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizanmo. I'm going to tell you a little bit about the film without give you details of the movie that will stop you from watching this fantastic piece of work for yourself.
Basically it's about people vanishing and the demons that they fight as they fight for their lives. The way that it explores the demons of the characters helps you understand there actions and there conflicts. It's interesting view on the avenues that people go through to make sense of something and the survival skills that come from it. Also the film makes you think about how people can come together in a time of need.

I would definitely recommend for people to go watch but if you scare easy I would suggest that you go with someone you can "find your face with". Personally I was shaking and holding onto my friends' arm for dear life for 85% of the movie. (lol)
With that being said I would give this film; 4.5 stars.

back from the grave.

wow, it's been a while.
and i'm truly sorry about that.
i am back on track now..
now baby let's go!

shooting the shit.

who would have thunk it.
this little girl is growing up faster than anyone would have thought.
just here shooting the shit, letting you catch up to whats going on.
summer is here in full force; parties, liquor, belmont, and of course work.
money is the key to it all.

early mornings filled with water to sober up and late nights to stumble down the road, streetcar rides at ten o'clock and taxi rides at four in the morning.
work from nine thirty and selling until five o'clock, food and family from six to nine when the sun hits the furthest building fading away. cigarette stop at ten and off to the wine rack we must go. sawmill creek and belmont fill my bucket bag, then the metro pass is put into good use.. off to the party we must go to drink until our sight is doubled. the party is done before you know it and the new friends you made all rush out the door to hail down a cab.

just thought you might like to know what it's like.
nicotine, alcohol, fashion, and some film; that's all it takes to be me!

getting back into the groove of things

the day has arrived.
prom is now here and to stay but for only six hours.
six hours is all that it will be, have be anticipating this for four years..

yes yes yesh, who would have thunk it, that the little children would grow-up to blossom into young adults and soon adults then elders.

"time flies when your having fun" - that is how the saying goes, and the cliche is so true. life is in fast forward when your in a rush to grow up, to "become an equal" and once you get there you can only wish that you could back in time to correct what you once did wrong..

yes yes yes, it is time to grab life by the hair and ride that bitch like as if never done before.. you think you have
lived but not quite.. you are a virgin at this thing called life and there are many lessons to learn.

just a little food for thought.
-- hope you liked it
just getting back into the groove of things.

-- timeless essense.

break, heartache.

are you ready..

the march break is here, i just am so happy for a break, no school and lots of time to catch up on some zzz's.
parties, clubs (YUCK), ST. PATTIES, and of course birthdays :)
yes i just can't wait, probably am going to have to go to rehab after all the alcohol in my system.
this isn't my usual way of writing but i'm going to try something new, so if you don't like it, just inbox me or something..

i think am going to get a Canon or Nikon, and i will start to make photo entries as well as written ones.
& i promise to make more entries since i will have more time on my hands..

also, i don't think i've ever said this but Thank You from the bottom of my heart for the suppose and following my crazy and random rants.
i'm i never really thought people would actually look at this and follow it but Thank You, i makes me happy and what to do it even more.

like i trust in you.

--

i know you want me, you think about me in your mind.
you show me sides that push me way, while drawing me inside.
your fingers moving over my body painting, the paint dripping off the tips leaving spirals and patterns, my lips on your body drawing the life out absorbing all that i can. one o'clock, three o'clock, four the hands spinning out of control, sanity quickly running out of sight. holding my body up, legs wrapped around yours, we want each other more than ever before, slowly going to bed with me still in your arms. the screams wake up the neighbours and the roommates, the pillow is the only thing that can smother it, it just expresses what i feel for you. making love to you is all i want to do. lets bring this day to a pleasant end, i've waited all day just to hold you, for me loving you and you loving me.
could it be i'm falling in love with you, i doubt it, its just a weekend that should last for days and months but it won't because we're from two different worlds, you see me as the girl that has it all there but the tends to everything that she wants including you and you the boy that has it all there but tends to be the jerk at all times unless its in the confinded walls of your room. darling you will be the one that wakes me up with a cold sweat from the horrifing dream of you not being here for me. then you continue to hold me until after sunrise, the sheets falling over the bed and the smells lingering in our noses.

the night over, and go back to our happy homes, and pretend like we are nothing more than just friends

this is a sweet thing this as we lay.

love me now or i'll go crazy

the sand in the hour glass in running out, it looks like its going through the glass table of our fingers,our hands fitting together like a gloves soaked in blood, too tight cutting off the flow to the rest. the more the sand runs freely to the floor, we get into fights, barely talk, and have conversations strictly about the love between the sheets.

serious conversations become a joke, the moon turns in the sun, and the snow turns into water..





but neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye.

back by..

popular demand.

Dear Friend,

every time i escape the jungle, the lions grab me by the neck and drag me back in.
the pain the surges through my body, is numbed by the idea that i can erase the pass and start over with you. you were there for me when i needed you, then when i needed you most you slipped through my fingers like a black balloon.

you hated what i was, the person you couldn't, you strike me where it hurt and returned for me when i was down, kicking me in the gut.. knocking the air of me and had me gasping for last breathe. then wisped away from a different wind and left you behind in the pit of our last fight.

you come back in a different form, hurt, grieving.. your heart torn out. you lose the one thing we talked about as child, and now you realize that we had an bond that we once thought was unbreakable.. now we look back and realize that was unrealistic. the children we were hadn't lives life, gone through the strain of love, heartache and loss, now we come back to meet once again, almost as stranger unsure where we stand with each other.

you were like a sister that i never had and i lose that sister, it feels like years and the truth it was only months ago. we slept in the same bed, read each others minds without speaking, spent everyday together.. and it all come to a crashing end because you had changed because of your reasons, and i did the same. our new lives didn't workout together, they were opposites and we couldn't understand why we had grown apart.

i wish we could go back in time and change the past but if we did that we wouldn't be the woman we are today. yes, in months i became a woman from a naive child. the months that passed were hard and stressful, but clearly not as much as yours.

we spoke today, and at first i was angry and didn't know what to say to you without scream at the top of my lungs. then realized that shouts or swears wouldn't do us any good. the sun wouldn't come out the same way if we did that, and you made me cry because i missed the old life i had when i was a child and your were there for me. the tears are a mesh of pain and happiness, the pain came from knowing that we will never be the start and we wouldn't be able to start from scratch because of the mistakes we made, the happiness came from knowing that we were going to be okay, move on with our lives and make the best of them and be successful.

as the tears stream down my face and wet my shirt is just a way of cleansing my body of all the past shit and welcoming the healing and success that will come my way, God willing, we will make it through this.

i will always have a space in my heart for you, and i hope you will have the same.

Yours Truly,
India Antoine.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/annabellelichte

vow of celibacy..

should it be my body rebelling against what the world wants or a choice i make to better and cleanse myself.

i want to take a vow of celibacy, to correct what i have down wrong in life.
to better myself, i guess cleanse my body.. to make relationships less about attraction and more and meaning.

the boy tells the girl he loves her and whats to be with her, in exchange she gives him her body, sacrifices her morals and beliefs for the sake of love.

"all boys want is to get in your pants, they will say anything to do so" - my mother..
was she telling me a fact of life or making sure that her daughter doesn't have sex.

i would hate to say that all boys are the same and that all they want is sex but it is the truth, at least from the boys i have encountered. they wine and dine you, then try to lay it on you. you stall and protest but yet you give with the sweet words that come from his mouth. you feel ashamed and saddened but the crushing defeat, the pain of knowing how the outcome will be.

it might be crazy to take a vow of such sorts at this age, but i feel it is necessary to my lively hood. to triumph from the bad and darkness that surrounds me in the world.

sex is not bad, but the action is not a clean thing. it is dirty and dark.
not the sex you have with someone you love, but the sex you have with the boy you met at the club, or the boy you go to school that looked good at the party. (i have not done these things) you get caught in the lies and the misleading trust of the hopeful longing in your eyes.

"just because i don't believe in relationship doesn't mean that i'm easy" - myself

celibacy isn't a choice because you want to make people talk, it is for yourself and no one else.. you can't pick it up like a top and drop and the second your notice a stain.. you take it home wash it and continue with your day.

i have been celibate for two months now, and this is the first time i am talking about it.

until i find someone or something that is worth me quitting my vow will stay strong in my heart and mind.. i wear a ring to show my commitment.

“it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”

“this is my weapon, this is my inner sense of fame. This is my monster."

formspring.me

is it true you suck dick and swallow?

thats a different one.
no i don't, sorry boys.. shame that i don't though no :P
maybe in a next life i will.. not in this one though.
not my style !

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/annabellelichte

...would you mind ?

the object of your affection whether innocent or intentional.
the tension between us is thick, akwkard at times.
funny at times the way we act with each other, playful like two children in a playground, but serious like lovers.

i don't know if to hug you or kiss you.
the hug is everlasting, time slows and the moment is saviored between us.
holding on tight as if you will lose them once you let go.
the split seconds after the hug is done, the looks begin, to make sure that mutual friends don't realize the connection that occured infront of them.

the random looks, eyes connecting everytime, getting cold chills down our spines.
shaking it off, even though the feeling is intoxicating. a smirk comes across our faces realizing the game that only the two of us know about, tag with our eyes and minds playing without words or a touch to expressed it.

we become paired of with every chance our friends give us. its subconciously walking in twos, chatting catching up as if this is how its always been meant to be. in our heads contemplating is this is meaningless conversation or going to lead to anything more. if we'll be able to show each other the ropes.

knowing that once the night is over this meeting won't happen for weeks to come. we won't plan anything, scared of what might be. memories will last and we'll hope that we don't care a bad romance.
missing each other more and more knowing that we can't have each other once the night is done.


knowing in my head that i want to do is kiss you, taste you, watch you, feel you.

who am i suppose to be.

am i really an oreo ?
am i a black person coated with a white exterior shell ?
what is the definition of being black?

please, explain this to me.
jordans, bongo jeans, pullover hoodie, leather jacket..
is that how i should dress ?

uggs, levis jeans, body suit, canada goose jacket..
is there something wrong with how i dress ?

the first thing you see are clothes and looks, the part that you don't learn is the personality and spirit. the rope pulling my limbs from each side spit me in two, the pain is unbarable but yet easily covered up. you make me evaluate the inner and outer beauty of my soul, question my morals and the person i've grown to become.
society devides us, making us see the differences instead of the similiarities. you made me as much as i made you, the age of darwinism is over but the thesis is here to stay.
i am no better than you, i listen to the steyerotypes and judge you before i meet you. i know how you will sound and act before you get near. sometimes i feel better than you, above you, because i am different. the money, the clothes, the grammar, and tone.. it makes me better than you, because i can float into different situations without being detected, not because i'm telling a lie but because the lie has become a part of me.
you made me this way, and there are no signs of either of us changing.

so you tell me how to be the person i am suppose to be

just a little song that i can't stop listening to.
maybe it has something to do with cheap thrills.

ignorance is strength.
freedom is slavery.
war is peace.

love is blind and ignorance is bliss.

for your entertainment.

i'm only here for your entertainment.

from the time i get up to the time i got to sleep.
the makeup i put on my face, to the tights i pull on my legs.
the straighter i pull through my hair and the top i navigate into.
the shoes i throw on to the coat that keeps me toasty.

i taunt and tease you with something i know you can't get, make you feel like your in the winners circle and then end up last. you feel like it's an easy task from the way that i act, the way you ask me what i lack. the way you comment on my sass, the confidence in my walk. the curves my body holds, and your want for your hands to hold these curves to yourself for one night.

you talk to me on the phone, asking me what i would do to you. letting your mind wonder and imagine what i say is happening. the joy is brings you is short term bliss, until the actual this happens, toe-curling bliss of sorts. i do want you want because it puts a smile on your face. i give my all, until i am drained from it all.

i can only be here for your entertainment.

can i get back my lonely life.

is it the love that follows me, taunts me with every turn.
i go to work and see you pick up my co-workers,
i go to school and see the younger you in the cafe,
i go to the dentist and see you framed up on the wall.
i can't escape it, the memories haunt me every chance it gets to creep in to my head.
the past loves, the ones that seemed like they would never end.
the faces of the lovers that have come and gone..
how can you go on as if we never had anything, to you it seems as if i was just a toy, or a game that you can turn off and on with the flip of a switch.
the girl you came to know is no longer her, she's changed and learned from the lessons you taught her.

single life has no drama, no disappointment.
you showed me that that's the only way i can survive in this world..
lonely and insecure, love and support is something for the nieve and young.
a dream that is found when you aren't looking for it, but not when you need it.
take or have it stolen from you.

i just want my lonely life back, where you can't hurt me anymore.
love is no longer a want, its a curse and a disease that's affected me for too long.

just how i feel about you.

tossing and turning in bed, waking up drenched in a cold sweat, laying there longing for you.. what am i suppose to do ?

tried to go with the flow, but i just couldn't totally commit to that.
the fact of the matter is i like you.. it might be obvious to you.
it's not the same as it is when i like others, it feels right with you..
your touch, your being, just feels right to me.

this is more than a physical attraction or a physical connection, it's just intoxicating.
you make me nervous and confused, i lose games that i can easily win, i'm speechless at times.
i can't take my eyes off you when i'm with you, maybe it just that i can't believe what i feel for you.
i don't feel like this ever.. i know it's not love or infatuation.. your just different from others i've met in my life so far i guess.

and when it comes to other girls, i'm cocky, they have nothing on me..
they just don't meet up to what i can deliver, i'm one of those girls that you only meet here and there, yet still in the back of my head i think about the fact that we do live a ways apart..

to be honestly, i just wanna be happy, and i'm not saying it has to be you that makes that want come true because people don't always get what they want but wouldn't it be a lovely thing, maybe i'm the only one that thinks so..

i'm embarrassed, i don't know what your doing to me, i know the feelings not mutual.. but i had to express myself somehow, where you can't interrupt or reply.. i need you to hear me out.

you have something over me.
it may fade or grow, it's up to you.

but once your done reading this, just tell me how you feel..

smiling uncontrollably.

i don't know what to call the feelings i have for you.
its more that just a physical attraction, just having you near me makes me smile.
i can't help but stare at you when you sit next to me.. i make a face to cover the infatuation in my face.
just seeing your name on my called id makes me giggle and smile uncontrollably.
you honestly do make my day..

when you came to mine and your met my mama, and she questioned our relations..
i couldn't help but think about us being together and how wonderful it would be.
i don't know what it is about you but i just want to be where you are, with you, near you.

sounds crazy, i know its not love..
but with time could it be ?

i want you to tell me what you want, what's the next move..
and does it all involve me.

saka vu.

a Saka Vu production.

'010.

its here, 2010 feels a little different, but in a refreshing morning dew type of way.
made a resolution and it feels as if everyone is working to make it work for me without them knowing.
still into my own random stuff, fashion, art and photography..
so far the years going after to a good start, hopefully the lord with keep it this way & i'm very grateful for him letting me see any other year.

the time has come for us to say goodbye, 2009, has went away.
the clock striked 12 and the ball dropped, grabbed his arm, looking into each other eyes, smiled and kissed, it was a strong kiss unlike something they experience on a regular basis, the kiss showed them the future, and all the happiness it held for them.


it's hear down season, time to let god lead and me follow.
the time has come for me to stop over analayzing everything and go with the flow.
boy, i hope your here to stay, i don't want you to go away.
i can be myself around you, i can dance to thriller in that "slick" way.
i don't care if you see me without my hair done, or see my mom killing the song.
just want you to understand that i want you to see me with my hair down.